smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just pee around me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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