i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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