I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
