Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
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just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
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That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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