I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
