i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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