im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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