btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
