I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
