He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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