well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
