Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He shit in the fireplace
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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