Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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