I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
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facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
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You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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