You can't motorboat a personality
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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