he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
