a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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