Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Last time i carry you out of a forest
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
