Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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