Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
