Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
