she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
