after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
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I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
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Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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