Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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