a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You took a bar mat shot.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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