saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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