Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
