Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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