I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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