There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
