It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
