for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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