This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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