And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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