You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
