i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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