accomplished twins. life is a go
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
