I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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