im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.