Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...