Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
