Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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