hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
