I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
