Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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