Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
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Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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