I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize