absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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