I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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