i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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