We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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