have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
