got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
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I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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