Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize