Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
