There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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