So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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