I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
