I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize