brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
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I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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