So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
