At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
