Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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