Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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