hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
