PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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