I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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