Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
